


Good Egg

by Skyson



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Episode Related, Episode: s02e12 Bad Eggs, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Screenplay/Script Format, Short & Sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:15:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28702782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyson/pseuds/Skyson
Summary: A comedic tale that could have happened had Buffy been a few years older during “Bad Eggs”... and if the eggs weren't so bad.
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Buffy Summers
Comments: 20
Kudos: 31





	Good Egg

**Author's Note:**

> Written in a script format because this originally began as one of my "photoset story time" posts. Includes photos within.

  


_*OPEN on Sunnydale High School library, mid-morning, GILES organizing books near the cage as BUFFY approaches*_

**GILES**

“What in the world is that?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Our egg.”  
  


**GILES**

“ _Our_ \- ???”  
  


**BUFFY**

“That’s right! Meet your son. Or daughter. Hard to actually tell right now. I guess we can pick! The teacher didn’t actually tell me whether or not it had to be a specific gender.”  
  


**GILES**

“I… wha-...”  
  


**BUFFY**

“The whole class was given these eggs to take care of, for a week. To teach us responsibility I guess, or whatever.”  
  


**GILES**

“Ah, I see. …... And why is th-this egg, erm, p-partly m-mine?”

_(shakily cleans his glasses with a handkerchief seemingly produced from nowhere)  
  
_

**BUFFY**

“Oh, everybody was partnered up, but I was late and the last woman standing. I don’t want to be a single mother! My mom didn’t do half-bad, if I say so myself - especially for having a Slayer as a daughter - but that is so not for me. So who better to co-parent with me than my Watcher?”  
  


**GILES**

“Co-parent? I- I- and what does your- your teacher think of this?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“He told me I could pick somebody out of class if I wanted, but I’d be taking full credit for whatever happens, so… I trust you!”  
  


**GILES**

“Buffy, I don’t know how to care for a- an egg!”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Neither do I. We’ll figure it out together!”

_*Cue to a couple of hours later, during free period*_

**BUFFY**

“This says babies basically cry for one of five reasons… Hunger, tiredness, they’re wet, they’re cold, or they’re gassy.”  
  


**GILES**

“I’m fairly certain your _egg_ is not going to have a flatulence problem. Or cry at all, for that matter.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“ _Our_ egg, Giles.”  
  


**GILES**

“R-right… hullo, what’s this?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Oh, swaddling! I remember mom teaching me how to do that back when I was babysitting for the neighbors. Works like a charm.”

_*WILLOW walks into the library*_

**WILLOW**

“Hey, you two. Oh, Giles has deep research face on. Baddie afoot?”  
  


**BUFFY**

_(offhand, distracted as she reads)_

“No baddie, just a baby.”  
  


**WILLOW**

_(startled)_

“A _what_?!”  
  


**GILES**

_(desperate)_

“ _An egg_!”

_(violently cleans his classes with his handkerchief)  
  
_

**WILLOW**

_(relaxed)_

“Ohhh, the home-ec project. ...Giles is your hubby?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Aren’t I lucky?”  
  


**GILES**

_(weakly)_

“I need tea.”

_*GILES quickly disappears into his office*_

**WILLOW**

“You guys are reading a parenting book? Wow, you’re really taking this seriously, huh Buff?”  
  


**BUFFY**

_(defensive)_

“I need to get an A on this.”

_*FADE TO BLACK*_

_*OPEN to a few days later, JOYCE arrives at the library, not long after BUFFY has left for a patrol. THE EGG is nestled in a small bundle of fabric in a container that looks like a miniature Easter basket, on the research table near some open books.*_

**JOYCE**

“Mr. Giles.”  
  


**GILES**

“Oh! Mrs. Summers, good evening. I’m afraid you’ve just missed Buffy,”  
  


**JOYCE**

“That was my intention, actually… I’ve come to speak to you.”  
  


**GILES**

_(curious)_

“Oh?”  
  


**JOYCE**

“Buffy told me this morning that the two of you have been… partnered together, on this project of hers? Parenting, together?”  
  


**GILES**

_(grave)_

“Oh.”  
  


**JOYCE**

“I’m just… not sure what to think, here. She explained to me the situation with the odd number of students in the class, but… Well, she’s taking this whole thing rather seriously. Which I’m proud of, don’t get me wrong. But…”  
  


**GILES**

_(silently encourages her to continue)  
  
_

**JOYCE**

“She’s an adult, of course - we both know that - but she hasn’t had a boyfriend since Angel, and I don’t want her… getting too attached to… an idea of something.”  
  


**GILES**

_(realizing)_

“Oh,” _(chuckles lightly)_ “Not to worry, Mrs. Summers. We aren’t taking our roles _that_ seriously, not- erm, n-not with one another, I mean.”

_(JOYCE nods, but does not look entirely appeased)_

**JOYCE**

_(sees THE EGG on the table, all cozy beside his jade green mug)_

“She always was great with the little ones,” _(wistful)_ “I always thought she’d make a wonderful mother someday. But now… with the Slaying?”  
  


**GILES**

_(fervent)_

“If Buffy so chooses when the time comes, I assure you I will do everything in my power to help her reach motherhood.”

_(JOYCE stares at him)_

“Erm, um, I mean to say, a-as her Watcher, of course, I would help her- um, s-survive, t-to that point, t-to be healthy and, uh, happy,”  
  


**JOYCE**

_(with a deep sense of knowing in her features, and a resigned sigh)_

“I suppose that’s all a mother wants, isn’t it? For her daughter to have a partner who strives to keep her healthy and happy.”  
  


_(GILES is startled, again.)  
  
_

_*FADE TO BLACK*_

_*OPEN to next scene, the end of the week - and the project. During a late night research session in the library, WILLOW finds GILES hiding out in the hall, on the steps by himself*_

**WILLOW**

“Hey Giles. Why the mopey face?”  
  


**GILES**

“Ehm… it’s nothing, Willow.”  
  


**WILLOW**

“We all turned in our eggs and journals today. Did Buffy tell you? She got an A _plus_.”

_(GILES smiles briefly, wistfully, and WILLOW sits beside him)_

“I kinda miss my little guy, honestly.”  
  


**GILES**

“Hm.”  
  


**WILLOW**

“You do, too, huh.”  
  


**GILES**

“I- I feel perhaps Joyce’s fears were… misplaced.”  
  


**WILLOW**

“Buffy’s mom had fears?”  
  


**GILES**

“Sh- she was concerned that Buffy would grow… too attached.”  
  


**WILLOW**

“She _did_ weirdly enjoy this project way more than anybody else, I think.”  
  


**GILES**

_(quietly, with deep feeling)_

“I did, as well.”  
  


**WILLOW**

_(comforting)_

“Oh, Giles.”

_*FADE TO BLACK*_

_*OPEN to Revello Drive, living room, BUFFY and GILES are speaking alone*_

**BUFFY**

“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”  
  


**GILES**

“I- if, if you’re amenable, I- well- it was quite- with the egg, I mean, it was… enjoyable.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“What was?”  
  


**GILES**

“Erm… partnering with you.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Partnering?”  
  


**GILES**

“Bloody hell, Buffy, you know what I’m trying to say.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“It _sounds_ like you’re trying to say something that I am _so_ not ready for, Giles,”  
  


**GILES**

“Oh, I- I see. If you don’t- ”  
  


**BUFFY**

“I’m only eighteen! Can’t we start with a puppy, or something?”  
  


**GILES**

“- want… a puppy?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Yeah. Cause the dating thing - for real dating, I mean? I’m _totally_ amenable to that.”  
  


**GILES**

_(relieved, emotional - for his standards, anyhow)_

“You… are.”  
  


_(BUFFY smiles, and then so does GILES, and she takes his hand)_

_*FADE TO BLACK*_

_*OPEN to next scene, some months later, BUFFY and GILES in the library, close to graduation. WILLOW, unseen by either of them, spies through the partially-ajar doorway.*_

**BUFFY**

_(overtly flirty, hamming it up a bit)_

“C’mon, Giles, just a little.”  
  


**GILES**

_(only mildly flustered)_

“You _know_ the rules, Buffy. Not in the library.”  
  


**BUFFY**

_(fiddles with his tie)_

“But there was that time in your office,”  
  


**GILES**

_(unmoved)_

“And we’re extremely lucky we didn’t get caught _that_ time.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Just a quick smoochie.”  
  


**GILES**

_(wryly)_

“It’s _never_ ‘just a quick one’ with you.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Well that’s not _my_ fault.”  
  


**GILES**

“ _I know_.”  
  


_(They smile at one another, ruefully, and BUFFY smooths his lapel of his coat before she pulls away.)  
  
_

**BUFFY**

“Fine. But you owe me big time after patrol, mister.”  
  


_(GILES’ smile becomes something a little more coy, a Ripper-like expression that WILLOW had only seen once before. Unsettled by that kind of hungry look on the librarian’s face, she scurries away.)_

_*FADE to next scene*_

_*The next day, WILLOW confronts them, unable to keep this shocking revelation to herself*_

**WILLOW**

_(blurting, not accusatory)_

“I saw you guys! Yesterday.”  
  


**GILES**

_(reading, only half-listening to the conversation)_

“I’m sorry?”  
  


**WILLOW**

“The two of you. In here. _Alone_. All… heart-eyes!”  
  


**GILES**

_(yanks his head up to look at her directly, his eyes wide and difficult to read)  
  
_

**BUFFY**

_(attempts to laugh it off but quickly gives in)_

“That’s silly, I don’t have… okay. Yeah, okay, so here’s the thing - for the past few months Giles and I have been- ”  
  


**WILLOW**

_(exclamatory excitement)_

“Smoochies!”  
  


**BUFFY**

_(somewhat distracted now - caught up in a memory)_

“What? Oh. Yeah. Smoochies.”  
  


**WILLOW**

“ _Finally_!”  
  


**BUFFY**

“Huh?”

**WILLOW**

_(smug)_

“I’m totally taking credit for this.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“What are you talking about? It’s the egg’s fault!”  
  


**WILLOW**

“Yeah but _I’m_ the one who encouraged Giles after he told me he was in love with you.”  
  


**BUFFY**

“What?!” _(then to Giles)_ “You what? You told Willow you- ”  
  


**GILES**

_(in protest, embarrassed)_

“I did _nothing_ of the sort!”  
  


**WILLOW**

_(calmly factual)_

“You totally did. Well, in Giles-speak, of course.”  
  


**BUFFY**

_(a bit whiny)_

“And here I’ve been waiting to tell you _I_ love you, because I was worried about taking things too fast!”  
  


**GILES**

“Wh… say that again?”  
  


**BUFFY**

“I’ve wanted to say it for _months_ , and here you are having felt the same way from the beginning?! We really need to work on our communication here, Giles.”

**GILES**

“Buffy…”  
  


**BUFFY**

“...Oh. Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag, now.”  
  


_(GILES quickly stands, shifting to the opposite side of the counter from BUFFY, gazing at her earnestly. She smiles hesitantly, surprisingly shyly, and the mood in the room has shifted vastly.)  
  
_

**WILLOW**

_(looking at her wrist - she’s not wearing a watch)_

“Oh, would you look at the time! I’ve gotta go - be somewhere - that isn’t here,”

_*WILLOW exits with an amazed smirk, neither of the other two notice.*_

_*FADE OUT*_


End file.
